i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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