Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Who died my cat blue again?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
