I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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