You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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