Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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