i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize