Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
