There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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