I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
