Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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