I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
