Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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