An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
