i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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