dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
