It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
