Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Randomize
