You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
if only i could text you this smell
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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