i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
