i was born a porn star she said
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I have tasted many bathrooms
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
