Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
As shirtless as possible
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize