Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
