fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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