Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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