are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
My vagina is officially offended.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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