apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
