You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
