I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
