fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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