i barfeds in our rink
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize