I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
