Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
