In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
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