i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You were trust falling into bushes
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
