i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Small penises have feelings too.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
