New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
