i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
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