theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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