I'm drive I can fine osifer
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
