i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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