I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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