What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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