I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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