I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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