Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
