I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
