Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
