my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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