you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
