oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
