Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
