I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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