Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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