I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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