you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
