I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize