I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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