i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
