this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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