they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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