God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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