May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
