I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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