Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize