Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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