he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
