me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
