Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
