Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
