Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
