So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
