Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize