didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
