Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
