I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You can't just leave with hair like that
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
