just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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