They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
