Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize