Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
