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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.

  (305): View more from Florida

  Did you save them?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Who?

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Either way I should probably pregame on the plane

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.

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• (415): View more from California

  there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am

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• (714): View more from California

  Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend

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• (585): View more from New York

  She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?

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• (916): View more from California

  I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.

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