Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I have tasted many bathrooms
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
