I'm sorry my penis didn't work
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
