why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
