brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
and you fell through a lawn chair
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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