I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
