Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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