how can u be prego again
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
