Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Operation Purity has been aborted
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
