If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
