Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
