he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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