I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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