BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
