i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
